Of All the Things I've Wanted to Be

1. Ballerina Princess Astronaut

This is the first thing I remember wanting to be. More than likely, this stemmed from a mixture of ballet lessons, reading The Little Princess, and watching short movies about stars. 

2. Writer

When I was six, I wrote my first story. It was about a cat, and I dedicated it to my brother (which he mistakenly believed meant he got to keep the book itself). After that, I wrote stories, pages of dialogue, and poetic sounding lines (but no poetry. That was for the beret wearing coffee drinkers).

3. Teacher

This one makes me laugh now because I really can't see myself as a teacher anymore. But at the time, I wanted to teach second grade and decorate my classroom with owls and paper cutouts of trees. In actuality, I probably just wanted to be my mother. 

4. Actress

When I was eight, I took part in two week long summer plays at the dance school I went to. I loved every minute of it, and it was like lightening struck. After that, being an actress was the only thing I wanted to be. I wanted to be on TV and walk down a red carpet, which now seems absolutely terrifying. 

5. Social Worker

Even though I didn't know the term, I wanted to be involved with helping kids have the best life possible. I told my third grade teacher that I was going to adopt twelve kids and have a big house where they could run around and play with the many cats I'd have (no dogs. I was still scared of dogs at this point). This idea stayed in the back of my mind until I realized that I'd probably have trouble emotionally distancing myself from everything. 

6. Clinical Psychologist

I'm not ashamed to say that when I was in eighth grade I would sign my essays "Dr. Claira Eastwood, Ph.D" and then hastily delete it before turning it in. For a while, I saw a therapist who worked with a clinical psychologist and she'd tell me all about the job itself and what kind of training I'd need. I was obsessed with this dream, and it's something I still think back on and wonder if I'd still want to do it. 

7. Full-Time Traveler

Paired with being a writer, I wanted to travel the world and write about all that I saw. This is still something I'd like to do someday, but I don't think I'd want it to be my entire job. At the time, though, I could think of nothing better than gallivanting across cities and countrysides and writing about it all. 

8. Sociologist

This stemmed from my love of geography and other cultures. I wanted to know how people in other countries/cultures lived and what was important to them. 

9. Communications Director for something important

This probably came from watching one too many episodes of West Wing and/or Gilmore Girls. 

10. Theatre Actress

Which, by the way, is different than #4. I wanted to teach acting and direct my own plays. I wanted to work on a stage every night and feel that familiar magical rush again and again. I still do, only I'm sure I want that for a career anymore. 

If I'm being honest, I'm not sure what I want to do. Of all the things I've wanted to be, writing is the only thing that has come up time and time again. Acting and teaching make their regular appearances, but writing has always been the constant. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what I end up doing. I have a little under nine months until my registration day for college, but I don't necessarily have to declare a major right away. I'll be figuring it out along the way, and I'm okay with that.