Dear 2018

Dear January,
January, what can I say. You were many things- travel, lack of travel. Books, lack of books. Music, and silence. You had a couple good weeks and two very terrible ones. With you there was death, cold water, and spirals of anxiety. But there was also the beginning of musical rehearsals, and good books, and some really good laughter with really good people. I suppose I needed you to begin, but, January, I'm not sure I liked you all that much. Yes, you brought some good. But there were more tears shed than were necessary. You did, however, bring with you moments of practiced confidence and healthy confrontation, and for that I am thankful. Until we meet again,

~ Claira 

Dear February,
Oh February. You've always been a bit of a filler, but this year you were the good kind. Not much happened, but the things that did happen were good. Birthdays, basketball games, and flowers. I didn't love you, February, but I didn't dislike you, either. I was slightly bored, took only a few pictures, and watched Queer Eye about three times, but overall the 28 days were okay. See you next year, 

~ Claira

Dear March,
March, I love you. You pushed my fears further than I may have wanted, but those memories will stay with me for a long time. With you I climbed to the top of St. Paul's Cathedral, told my story in front of my school, and went to LA and sat in front of the star wall at the Griffith Observatory. I bonded with my cousins, laughed on car rides with my mom, and wrote good pieces that I'm proud of. Pirates of Penzance had it's opening night, and I was genuinely consistently happy for the first time in a while. I'll miss you, 

~ Claira 

Dear April,
Dearest April, I don't even know where to begin. Birthdays, three performances of the musical, poetry, and lots of laughter. You were exactly what I needed when I needed it. You let me live a little easier, work hard, and face my fears. You gave me space to breath, and that is something I needed. From the musical performances to the music tour, I'm very thankful for all the music you brought with you. Thank you for four weeks of calming chaos, 

~ Claira 

Dear May,
May, I loved you and hated you. You brought mountains of stress and anxiety, but some really good things happened at the same time and I'm still trying to understand that. You started with a screaming robot baby and ended with finals, and I'd say that's a pretty good way to describe you overall. In your four weeks, I set up my final school vespers as the Religious Vice President, had my last banquet as a high schooler, and spent hours trying to finish my online math class. I spoke in front of a church and tried to express how much I love my school in the span of 5 minutes, and got to see my old high school class graduate. May, you were a good closing chapter to my high school experience, and I'm glad I had you. Until next time, 

~ Claira 

Dear June,
A calm month, you were what I so desperately needed. June, you brought welcome changes and some scary prospects. I cut my hair shorter than it's been for nine years, and I started my trek into The Great Unknown in terms of the career I want so badly. Mornings were spent reading and taking care of new plants, afternoons were for my internship at the theatre, and evenings and nights were spent watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and season two of Queer Eye. You were a welcome reminder that sometimes I need solitude, and yet you still gave me moments to reach out to those around me. I can't wait to see where I'll be next time we meet, 

~ Claira 

Dear July,
July, I don't even know where to begin! You started off awfully slow, but ended up being a month where quieter dreamers were realized. I traveled to France (and Luxembourg!), closed the chapter on my first book (though it may be a while before the world sees it, if it ever does), and finally started to feel ready for the next chapter of my life to begin. Thank you for good days of travel and sun, of bravery and opportunities. I can tell this is a July that will be compared to other Julys...

~ Claira 

Dear August,
This dear month is one where I regained motivation for this website, read a few short books to add to my list, and tried to soak up as much of Sacramento as possible before leaving for Washington. I said goodbye to friends as they left for college, and tried to push myself to be as social as possible. I went to church for the first time in forever, and had some epiphanies along the way. I got my drivers permit and housesat for my grandparents, and just had a really good month. August, I think I really will miss you. Thank you for these weeks,

~ Claira

Dear September,
Oh September, September... This month was certainly one for the books. Two weeks of slight crazy with packing for college and waves of nostalgia, and then two more weeks of major crazy as I unpacked in a dorm room, went through orientation, and tried to adjust to the whole "I'm a college student" thing. I went back to days of tests and quizzes and nights of studying for said tests and quizzes. I was once again greeted with my love for acting and theatre and have been reminded time and time again of why I want to do what I want to do. Thank you, September. This time next year will be completely new again, but I can’t wait to see what it will be like,

~ Claira

Dear October,
With you I entered my final year of teenage-dom, and I'm finally starting to see that as a good thing. With you my days were spent in coffee shops writing blog posts and in the library analyzing Chaucer and Shakespeare. My nights were filled with music and swing dancing, and I started to form lasting friendships. October, you gave me a bigger family in more ways than one. You gave me opportunities to practice productivity without motivation, and you gave me the chance to look ahead to the exciting things my future has in store. 19 is looking good, October, and I am so excited to see what comes next,

~ Claira

Dear November,
These 30 days were some of the craziest of college life so far. I continued to deal with the aftermath of going semi-Adventist-viral. I helped with the drama department’s production of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I practiced for an emotional scene performance during two of the most stressful weeks of college I’ve had. My social circle expanded and I stopped spending all my time on campus (it gets old after a while). November, you were full of theatre and laughter. You brought me home for a little bit and brought me back to school for one more week of normalcy before finals hit. Thank you for being a month of good change,

~ Claira

Dear December,
Goodness gracious, December, you were a million things in one. There were finals to be studied for and lines to be memorized, and I finally changed my major to something I really love. There were late night drives to get milkshakes and game nights with so much laughter. I completed my last math class and survived the end of Fall Quarter. Upon returning home for Christmas Break I was finally able to catch-up with friends from high school who I hadn’t seen since graduation. I spent some much needed time with my family and ate Christmas cookies and watched Hallmark movies. December, thank you for simultaneously reminding me how to get through the hard stuff and yet showing me all the good in the world. Thank you for being a wonderful closing chapter,

~ Claira


Dear 2018,
2018, I don’t even know where to begin with you. I came into this year knowing it had to be different than 2017. It had to be happier and it had to have more good memories attached than bad. 2018, you exceeded my expectations. I wrote and performed poetry. I worked in a theatre and with a drama department. I traveled and cut my hair. I earned my drivers permit after a year and half of work. I started college and somehow managed to finish the first quarter. I ran and biked so many miles I’ve lost count. I took care of myself and learned how to maintain my own happiness while trying to help others find theirs. I told my story. I wrote my heart. I put my soul into my work. 2018, you were such a beautiful twelve months and I am going to miss you horribly. Thank you so, so much,

~ Claira