The summer I was sixteen, I moved, went through a bit of a heartbreak, prepared to change schools, and started a blog. This here blog did not go live until October, but I started writing posts and designing the bits and pieces in July. Shortly after moving, actually. I wrote my first poem, read the Harry Potter series, and played my ukulele and guitar a lot. The summer of 2016 was actually a really awful summer, but the years that have followed have been wonderful.
The summer I was eighteen, I worked with a theatre, went to France and Luxembourg, finished a book (that will remain unread for who knows how long), and prepared to head off to college. Since moving to Washington I have been involved in three(ish) productions, most recently in a play about a Ferris wheel where I played a character much like myself who is terrified of heights. Last Sunday I had an audition for the spring production, A Wrinkle in Time, and after a callback and a few days of impatiently refreshing my email, I found out I’ll be playing Meg Murry. It’s a huge undertaking, and is one I am nervous but extremely excited about. This sort of brings me to my point in writing today…
I have a feeling a lot is going to change with this website soon. I’ve been here for almost two and a half years, and over the course of this time so much has changed. Not only have I gone through my final years of high school and finished two terms of college, but certain parts of my personality have changed as well. I started this blog when I was sixteen (though nearly seventeen), and I was in kind of a weird place at the time. Originally, I wanted to have the blog for two years in high school in order to gain an audience before starting a YouTube channel in college. I wanted to be known and recognized for my work. After going semi-Adventist viral back in October and scouring through (mostly negative) comments about my writing, I’ve changed my mind about a lot.
I am perfectly content with the little audience that reads my blog. I love knowing I’m writing to friends and family, plus the occasional new twitter follower who stays around for a day or two. With that said, the main reason I write now is for me. Every once in a while I will look back at old things I’ve written and it feels like reading a public version of a diary, especially since I know everything that was going on behind the scenes of writing each post or poem. This blog is my scrapbook, but right now it is very polished.
Since January, I haven’t been writing as much. Part of it has to do with being pretty busy, but a lot of it had to do with feeling daunted by the prospect of facing a blank screen and having to fill it with five paragraphs of a new life lesson I’ve learned or a story from years and years ago. I don’t want to do that anymore. Okay, I still want to make lists of the things I’ve learned from a play or the *current age* things I’ve learned before my birthday, but I also want this blog to be more scrapbook-y. I want to share stories as they happen, and instead of fitting my life in with this blog, I want to fit my blog into this life.
When I was sixteen and this blog began, my life revolved around the books I read, the tea I drank, and the songs I wrote. Now, at nineteen, my life revolves around the drama department, the game nights I have with my bestest of friends, and the weird conversations I have with my roommate. I drink (possibly too many) cups of coffee, and I don’t read as much anymore. I want these things to be obvious upon reading a post, not thrown into a random paragraph. I want to look back at these posts in a few more years and know for sure what it was I was feeling when writing. So, some changes are afoot. I’m really excited to start sharing :-)