Guinea Pigs & Heartbreak

My guinea pig, Scout, died on March 02nd, 2017. I had been at a Barnes and Noble with my grandparents and when I came home I could just tell that something was wrong. She died within the hour. I had noticed something was different with her a few days earlier, and I'd been trying to spend extra time with her just in case. She wasn't with me for very long, only a little over seven months. 

I got Scout on July 22nd, 2016, and she was very tiny. I had gone to Petco with my mom and grandmom, and we had passed the cage of guinea pigs and there was this little black one with a white spot and an orange one just staring up at me. I looked down at her and after a moment or two my mom said to me "will she heal your heart?" and I'm guessing I nodded or something because before I knew it, I was sitting in the car holding a guinea pig. We snuck her into my grandparent's house without my grandfather figuring it out (although we later needed him to help situate her water bottle so he found out within half an hour), and I spent the rest of the day getting to know my new friend. 

So what did my mom mean by "will she heal your heart?" Well, here's the thing: I don't like to admit it when I'm heartbroken. I don't know if it's because I think I'll appear weak, or if I'm too much like Rory Gilmore and I simply don't want to wallow, but I just don't like to admit it. Unfortunately, this inability to feel my heartbreak led to me going to a camp meeting and jumping into a situation where I was bound to be greeted by my heartbreak and live through it all over again. Why did I think going to camp meeting was a good idea, you may ask? Because, for goodness sake, I will not defeated by my heart! However, I ended up crying in my tent on my second night and then going home the next day. 

Having Scout gave me something to focus my energy on. Not only was I still heartbroken, but I had just moved and I was missing my old friends and the nerves of starting at a new school were starting to come in. She distracted me and became my sounding board for everything that was going on in my mind. My fears of starting at a new school were somewhat calmed, and when I couldn't sleep I had someone to talk to. My previous guinea pig, Bugsey, had died that April and I was still feeling lonely after that. I'd had him for over five years, and I got him after a particularly rough year of school. He had been that sounding board for a long period of time, and I still miss him, just like I still miss Scout. 

I'm not sure about the exact time frame, but I know that my mom's guinea pig Squeaker had died shortly before I was born. When Scout died, my mom told me that every guinea pig comes into our lives for a reason, and when they leave maybe it's because there is something else that needs to come in. I needed Scout, whether just because I needed to sort through a heartbreak or because I needed a friend during some fairly lonely months at the end of last year. Either way, I'm glad I had her. My life is in a good place, and good things are happening. I still miss my baby guinea pig, but I'm thankful for the time I had with her, and I'm extremely grateful for all she did for me. <3  

Me and Scout the day I got her &lt;3&nbsp;

Me and Scout the day I got her <3