So, I went to Nebraska for four days. While I was there, I learned many things I didn't know before (some being that it's possible to eat too much watermelon and that apparently career tests show that I, a minor, would make a good bartender), and some things I already knew (I still don't like snow and I still can't function well without at least six hours sleep). I was able to meet with English professors and theater directors, and everyone was enthusiastic and encouraging. There were many aspects of the trip that I loved, but I think my favorite part would have to be seeing the theater department.
I think everyone has a moment (or a few) where they realize what they want to be when they grow up. When I was six, I realized that I loved books and writing and that I one day I wanted to write a book, and this is still true. When I was eight, I acted for the first time and absolutely loved it. For the last eleven or so years, my personality has revolved around my love of words and how they can be expressed through acting. I think part of the reason I've never hated it when books are made into movies is because I always "direct" the book in my head while I'm reading it anyway (although I think most people are like this as well so maybe it's something else...).
While I was visiting the theater department, the director took us to the green room and the prop room, and I almost broke down into tears. Like I said, I think everyone had a moment where they realize what they want to be when they grow up, and this was one of mine. I was overwhelmed by how happy I felt simply being the presence of a small, makeshift theater that I couldn't imagine how I would feel if working in theater became my full-time job. While in Nebraska, I was asked dozens of times what I want to be when I grow up, and every single time, whether I was talking to people in the theater department or not, I said I wanted to run my own theater company where I act, teach acting, sing, direct, and write plays to be performed. But this is what is called a dream job. It's not necessarily realistic (although I was told everytime that it wouldn't be hard to do as long as I had the passion, which I definitely think I do), and it would require a lot of bravery that I simply don't think I have yet. But it's still my dream.
I think when it comes to dream jobs, most people have a backup plan, and I am certainly no exception. My "problem" is that my backup plan is also a dream job: being a writer. I know I already technically call myself a writer, but one day I would love to be able to walk into a bookstore and see a book with my name on it sitting on one of the shelves. I guess I'm just stubborn... I refuse to work toward a job that will leave me wishing I were doing something else. But am I wasting my time working towards something that can never happen? Maybe. Will working towards what I really want require all the bravery I can muster? Most certainly. Am I willing to at least try? Yes, without a doubt. Maybe dreams are meant for sleeping, but I think it would be pretty sad if one day I were more excited about my dreams at night than about the hours I was awake.
So there you have it. My dream (and my backup dream) will not stay a dream while I have anything to say about it.