I’ve been doing “Books I’ve Read & Places I’ve Loved” since December of 2016. I loved doing that series, and I still love looking back on those posts. However, I’ve found that they no longer accurately depict how my months go, and as you may know I’ve been trying to be more honest and genuine with these blogs. With that said, here is the first installment of a new idea I’m trying out :-).
Monday, April 01st - Today officially marked the beginning of Spring Quarter, which meant new classes, a new schedule, and (finally!) new weather. This quarter I’m taking a class in communication and languages in a global society, a class on privilege and oppression, an advanced acting class (cue the happy tears when I officially got in!), and research writing (in order to take advanced acting, since it’s an upper division class). I went to all the classes today, and while I think research writing is going to be the bane of my existence for the next eleven weeks, I’m feeling very optimistic about where everything is headed. Today also marked the beginning of rehearsals for A Wrinkle in Time! I’m so exited to be back to days of rehearsals, line memorization, and bonding with a giant group of people.
Friday, April 05th - It’s finally Friday and I couldn’t be happier! It’s been such a wonderful week and it’s been really great to get back to friends and classes and play rehearsal, but it’s also going to be really nice to sleep in for a couple days. Today started out all beautiful and sunny, and slowly the clouds and rain crept in. My roommate wanted to get her haircut, so we walked to another friend’s house before the rain started and when we left it started sprinkling. We fed said friend’s horse and then drove back to school. The picture below was taken on the drive back to school when it had officially started raining. My little friend group (minus two) went to vespers and then had a mini game night later on. It was a typical Friday that served as the perfect end to a wonderful week.
Monday, April 08th - I am full on craving an AWIT rehearsal. One was supposed to happen tonight but it was canceled due to my director traveling back from a weekend film festival. So, I must be content with memorizing lines and getting the endorphins through using the dorm gym (a less fun way to keep my happiness levels up, but good for me nonetheless). It’s still raining today, and while it’s really pretty to look at from inside, my walk to Privilege and Oppression was anything but fun. I made the mistake of wearing a dress (I just really didn’t want to wear pants), and by the time I’d made it to the other end of campus the front of my dress was pretty soaked. But we live and we learn, and I have definitely learned to suck it up and wear pants on rainy days. I am now off to do some reading and some line memorizing, all while drinking a very good cup of coffee :-).
Tuesday, April 09th - Fall Quarter, I had so many bad mental health days I lost track. Winter Quarter was so much better and I only had a couple days where I didn’t feel my best. I was hoping Spring Quarter would be much of the same, but the last couple of days haven’t been the best. Today was a rough one, and I’m hoping tomorrow will be better but I’m not sure how to make that happen. I had a rehearsal tonight, and I think I’m suffering from a little bit of imposter syndrome. Here’s hoping I can figure that out and tomorrow’s rehearsal will go better.
Saturday, April 13th - Today was quite the day. I had a really relaxing morning (a rarity), and then spent the afternoon with a bunch of kids. I’ve worked with an organization that’s a bit like VBS (Vacation Bible School) since the beginning of Winter Quarter, but I never felt like I was bonding with the kids. That seemed to change a little today, and I’m very thankful for that. Afterward, I cleaned my room and started working on my homework at around 8:00 pm. Tomorrow is supposed to be a crazy day, so hopefully working on stuff earlier than usual will pay off.
Sunday, April 14th - Today I got to participate in a really cool project, and it was so much fun. A friend of mine is a senior and for her senior project she worked with some elementary students who wrote scripts, and then college drama students performed them. I was lucky enough to be one the actors, and the scripts were wonderfully whimsical, hilarious, and, of course, creative.
Wednesday, April 17th - This week feels like it will never end. Everything is still super exciting, but I’m definitely tired and ready for a couple days of more sleep. Today I had my acting class, and when it was over a bunch of us stayed behind to talk with our teacher about how to do theatre in the Adventist world. We talked about shame and how hard it is to make good art in a community that has a tendency to put aside hard progress and conversation. Talking with my teacher and my friends gave me a lot to think about. Today was definitely one of my favorites so far.
Saturday, April 20th - After the conversation with our acting teacher on Wednesday, one of my friends asked if I wanted to find a mountain to go sit and process our thoughts on Saturday. I said yes, of course, and found myself waking up at 8:00 on a Saturday to drive to Oregon and sit on a stump to think about my future in the Adventist church. I still have loads to think about and figure out, but right now I am trying to reconcile my idea of God with my idea of church and how I don’t think I need church but I know I need God and spirituality to be part of my life. Combining my need for spirituality and my need for theatre is what I’m trying to figure out next.
Wednesday, April 24th - I have no words for today, so I will take some from Meg: “You are my darling, and my dear, and the light of my life, and the treasure of my heart. I love you, I love you, I love you.” (Meg, to Charles Wallace).
Friday, April 26th - I spent a lot of time outside today. After four hours in the sun, I’m pretty sure my shoulders will be a bit pink tomorrow, but the time was still needed. I went on a walk with a good friend, and we talked about many of the events of this week. It’s been so long, and parts of it have been so hard. It’s been one of those weeks that makes you think about how you’ll put it in your memoir in thirty years and what you’ll have to say about it then. Still, I am thankful for neighborhood walks with good people, and tea, and swing sets, and sunsets.
Sunday, April 28th - Today was one of those weird days that is constantly making you wonder if it’s a good day or a bad one. There were many good things, such as breakfast and dinner with lovely friends, a trip to an empty parking lot where one of my friends let me drive her car (in preparation for when I’ll have to take my driving test this summer), and the realization that I know more lines than I thought I did. But it was also filled with procrastination, a weird AWIT rehearsal where I didn’t feel like anything was clicking, and a consistent dread of the upcoming Monday. I have decided, however, to go to sleep only focusing on the good. I have so, so much to be thankful for right now, even if some moments leave me feeling unbalanced.
Well… that was quite the month. It was messy and beautiful and heartbreaking and uplifting all at the same time, and the end is leaving me with a bad mental health day and an unsettled spirit. I hope this month was good to all of you, and I hope that if it wasn’t, May is much better. Here’s to the next 31 days, I really hope they are consistently wonderful.